A Reflection of Beauty

Last night my husband drew a bath and invited me in. It's our favorite nightly ritual, we scarcely miss an evening. We turn on music, turn off the lights and let the warm water melt us together.

Our oldest asleep in his bed our newborn swinging in his swing just outside the door where we could watch him. Usually he sleeps too, but tonight he fussed and cried wanting a moment in my arms.

So I climbed out of the tub and scooped him up for a snuggle. Standing there in front of the mirror the floor soaking where I stood, I caught a glimpse of my bare body in the mirror. I watched myself for a moment while I rocked and swayed my little one.

I saw my arms holding the most wonderful creature I've ever beheld, how can arms holding such wonder not be wonderful too?

 I saw his perfect little head nestled on my shoulder. How can shoulders supporting such perfection not be perfect too?

I saw breasts that hung much lower than they did when I was twenty four, before I had my first baby. But how could breasts that give life and nourishment to this miracle not be a miracle too?

I saw a belly still swollen slightly, the skin stretched from accommodating this lovely boy inside my body for nine months and I thought how can a belly that carried such a lovely babe, not be lovely too?

And I looked over at my husband gazing at us both and he smiled at me, "You are so beautiful..." He said.

And my heart agreed, Yes, I am beautiful.
For by the beauty alone I have brought into this world,
How could I not be beautiful too?


This stunning photo taken by EllCee Photography

A letter to my Sonny.

Dear Scott,

You made it to school today just as your class lined up and started walking through the front door. "Go catch your class!" I told you as you raced out the car and down the sidewalk. I watched you as you ran, your bright red "Cars" back pack bouncing on your shoulders, your left  hand holding tight to your navy blue coat that trailed behind you like a flag, Your right hand clutching the top of your pants long enough in the legs but too wide in the waist. And as you ran at top speed I called out "Have a wonderful day, I LOVE YOU SCOTT!" And the autumn wind carried your sweet little voice through the yellow-orange leaves adorning the trees, and skipped up the sidewalk and jumped into my ears and landed in my heart "I LOVE YOU TOOOOO!" You called back as you joined your class.

I love you too.

I love you too.

I love you too.

Those words have been echoing in my ears all day. In your beautiful five year old voice. A voice that will deepen in the coming years into the voice of a man. And my dearest wish as your mother is that as you run full speed toward your destiny, a kind wind will carry my voice to you, wherever you are, and you will hear it echo in your heart "Have a wonderful life, I love you Scott!" And that you will still be calling back to me as I wave, "I love you too...I love you too."

Love,

Mom

Photo by EllCee Photography

Create your own romance

Romance is beauty, it's art, it's music, it is the creative expression of the soul. I crave romance, with an appetite that can never be satisfied. Once I taste it, I only get hungry for more. Romance awakens my senses to the life in every moment, it is the ultimate feeling of my existence.

Our courtship was a delicious feast of the romantic. Oh how he listened to me. Gazed into my eyes over a candle lit dinner, he spoke excitedly of the future, he brought me flowers. He wrote me poetry. His romantic inclinations were a window into my own heart. Or so I thought. What I perceived to be a window was really a mirror. Showing me how much I needed romance. During this time of courtship he had the time and biological drive to swoon me off my feet. It was his goal to win my heart. I was his greatest focus, I had his full attention and it felt incredible. I wanted it to last forever. So I married him.

Then I noticed a shift. His focus included school and career, and soon there was a little one to provide for. His very own son. There was more to his life than finding ways to satisfy my longing for the romantic. But my longing for the romantic did not diminish, it intensified. Exponentially.

It was impossible for him to give me all I needed to be happy. I learned to feed my own hungry soul with the romantic. I took romance into my own hands. And I was satisfied! More than satisfied, I was thriving and  living a happy joyous marriage! I scrap-booked, I hung hearts from our ceiling, I decorated, I sang, I planned date nights, I took bubble baths, I went on long beautiful walks. And soon he was eager to join in the fun! It was not his obligation to romance me, I simply invited him into my world of romance where he became the guest of honor! I was already content, and joyful, anything Josh gave me in addition ran me over till I was overflowing with happiness. Every "I love you" every "You are so beautiful" every surprise bouquet of flowers, or walk along the pier, was the cherry on my Sunday. He was free to love me just as he chose, because I wasn't telling him I needed him to be more romantic. Or resenting him for not fulfilling my need for romance. And he loved me beautifully.

We are born to fly amid the skies of creative expression, and romance is the ultimate creative expression. It sings, it paints, it soaks in candle lit bubble baths, it dances, it bakes brownies, it designs, it is a fashionista, it composes magnificent sonnets, it kisses, it snuggles, it bonds, our heart beats, our lungs breathe, our eyes see, and our souls create romance.

When we spread our own wings and take flight among those clouds he will marvel at your grace and beauty in the sky. You can lift him from the drudgery and weight of the world, when you create the romance and invite him to join you, he will most readily respond. Now he is free from the impossible task of flying for you. He is free of your disappointment, he is free from not being enough. He is free from failing you. Now, anything he gives you is wind beneath your wings, always more than you could have dreamed of, he can never fail. When a man knows he cannot fail, watch him do the extraordinary! You have taken your happiness into your own hands, and now he is free to simply love you. 

Welcome to the glorious world, of true love.

These fabulous photos taken by EllCee Photography

Counting

I don't count sheep lately.

I count late night nursings
And early morning burpings.

I count the monsters I scared away from my five year old's room
And the coins the tooth fairy left for his lost teeth.
I count ten little piggies and "one more bedtime story please..."

I count how fast we can get our shoes on before kindergarten starts.

I count loads of laundry and stacks of dishes
I count out change at the grocery store
And sometimes I count to ten
And take really deep breaths.

But most of all
I count my blessings.

A husband I can always count on,
And two little boys who call me mom.

You see, the way I figure it
everything adds up.

I see the sum of my life
In a million little moments
That seem so insignificant
But are actually the bits and pieces
That make sense of everything

Because at the end of the day
What counts most is always
And forever
Love.


This beautiful photo was taken by EllCee Photography

A relaxing, fun, extremely positive birth story.

Three weeks ago, I had a baby. And it was SO much fun! 

I know, I know, you don't believe me. No one does. They look at me like I'm crazy and say "You had...fun?" Then I tell them it was a completely natural birth, and they really can't believe me.

No drugs. No epidural, all natural, 100 percent FUN! I was even at a, now prepare yourself, Navy Hotel Hospital. *Gasp* Oh, and I think I should also mention, it didn't hurt. Now I really see you shaking your head in disbelief. I had to work, yeah-I had to breath, certainly, but it was so wonderful! A truly delightful day! It started at 8:30 in the morning. 

I woke up and felt three rolling contractions one right after the other. They weren't uncomfortable so I went back to sleep. I got up a half hour later and noticed I was bleeding. This concerned me so I called the hospital and they asked me to come in and make sure it was just cervical change and nothing else. 

Hubby came home from work and escorted me to the hospital. They checked me out and everything was just fine, I was having more consistent contractions (which I couldn't even feel other than some tightening) and I was already dilated to a four. The doctor wanted me to stay since my first birth happened very quickly, I thought that sounded like a good idea. They told me that if I wasn't progressing in three or four hours they would look into inducing me. This would not be my first choice so I hesitated, but I had a feeling I'd be fine so I checked in to the hospital. Josh and I had our five year old with us, so Josh left to pick up grandma and drop Scotty off at home. 

Then I started walking...

It took me about three minutes to walk one loop around the entire birthing wing and I was having two contractions per loop, so I knew my body was doing good work. The contractions still weren't strong enough to warrant me breathing through them so I just walked through them. It was grand! I felt so energized, and so strong! Every time I had a contraction I would relax my pelvic floor as much as possible while still walking. I was moving at a brisk pace and had made it 12 laps when Josh showed up! I waved happily to him and said "Hey, wanna go for a walk!?" He smiled and joined me.

I felt so excited. As I walked with Josh I told him I felt like all of heaven was with me to see this baby be born. I felt accompanied by angels, I felt that I was surrounded by family. "This is a birth day party!" I laughed as I described the feelings of joy and celebration I was experiencing. I took a short break for lunch (Josh brought me a bunch of favorite food from home) and we took a short video updating our progress. Then my wonderful nurse and personal cheerleader (Suzanne) came in to check my progress. 

"Well, you are dilated to a six-you are progressing nicely"

"Great!" I smiled "So, is this considered active labor now? Because I feel fantastic, these contractions are great!"

She looked at me in disbelief "I have never had anyone need to ask me if they are in active labor, YES you are in active labor" she laughed.

"Awesome, I think I'll go walk some more, but I feel these contractions are bringing me closer to my next stage of labor, will you start a bath for me?"

So Josh and I were off and walking and my bath was running. I had people literally cheering me on at this point, nurses and doctors (all Navy folks) told me I should be the new poster kid for PRT's, (physical readiness tests) and that if anyone ever complained about running the PRT they'd tell them about me charging laps around the birth center while in labor! 

"This is the best day ever!" I told Josh as we walked "I get to do all my favorite things! Walk with you, talk with you, I have your total attention no distractions AND I get to go take a bath in a little while!"

Pretty soon my contractions were strong enough that I needed to breathe through them, but I never slowed my walking pace, I continued to relax through the contractions and still had no terrible pain. My back ached quite a bit but as long as I breathed deeply I felt wonderful. 

After a while I felt like my body wanted to stop walking. (We'd done over 40 laps I think.) So I went back to my room and relaxed in the bathtub for a while.

It was blissful!

My mood shifted from excited to introspective and I knew I moving into the next stage of labor. I meditated and imagined seeing my baby moving and dancing through my body. I filled him with golden light and spoke to him softly telling him he was safe and that we were making this journey together. I felt so connected to him.

I wrote a little song for him, expressing my love and gratitude for him. As more contractions came I hung over the edge of the tub and imagined blowing long warm gusts of breath right into the tightness to soften it and blow it away. I also focused on relaxing the pelvic floor and bore down just slightly, gently pushing just enough to feel slight pressure but not applying any force or deep work, it wasn't time for that yet. Between contractions I laid back in the warm water and sang to my baby.

My nurse and doctor (who also happened to be a certified midwife, I just lucked out that day, you never know who you'll get at the hospital!) came in to check on me. 

"You look so deeply relaxed it's like you are at a spa!" They both marveled.

"I feel like I'm at the spa!" I replied "I'm having a wonderful time!" 

"Well, you are dilated to a nine, we're just going to stay here with you for a little while, let us know if you feel the need to push."

A few more lovely contractions and then suddenly I had a beautifully powerful contraction that told me to push. So I let my doctor know it was time to get out of the tub. They helped me out of the water and into my bed where I climbed up slowly and before I could turn over and lay down I had a massively powerful, magnificent contraction. My water broke and a glorious rush of water released an enormous pressure from within me. I felt a significant change come over me as I became the most powerful version of myself. Totally overcome by a primal instinct that told me exactly when to push and when to relax. I was in "child's pose" and this was perfect for me, Josh helped rub my back and that grounded me. Feeling his touch and knowing he was there added to my strength and courage.

At this point I was experiencing intense pressure and contractions. I was working with all my might to bring my baby into the world and it was exhilarating. Pushing felt so incredibly satisfying and important. This stage of labor was definitely filled with the most concentrated physical sensation. Especially building up to the ring of fire. The burning signaled my body to pause and wait, I was stunned by the incredible heat. When the burning stopped my body moved into a tremendous force of action and my mind focused keenly on the work at hand. Then a wave of relief swept all throughout me as time froze within that marvelous moment when my baby slid right from out of my body. I reached down and held his long, tiny body in my hands staring at him in awe, and then the tears of sheer joy came and I smiled at him and said "I wanted you so much."

Then my little Theodore nestled into my arms and we sat back and stared into each other's eyes until he was ready to nurse. 

Transition lasted all but fifteen minutes, and was the only time during labor I experienced anything a person might call "pain." I hesitate to use that word. It was incredible work. And truly an intense experience, but to call it painful just doesn't feel right. Pain signals something is wrong, it stops us dead in our tracks and fills us with panic so that we stop and don't further damage ourselves. 

But there was never anything wrong-nothing to stop. I only felt my body give me prompts to breathe, relax, look into myself, push, pause, work, rest, grunt, wail or moan. I saw all physical sensation as communication, my body, my baby and God were in control and I just surrendered, I trusted and allowed this grand experience to lead me, knowing that the wisdom of all the ages, all the intuitive, primal know how to birth was already within me. Every cell in my body knew exactly what to do in each and every moment leading up to the arrival of my son. I think they should call transition, transformation. In that moment you are becoming something new. A new person, you let down all the walls and perceptions you had of yourself before and fill your entire being with one purpose-to become a mother. You breathe, you grunt, you moan, you sing a song in a voice you've never heard and it's beautiful. It calls you to another place, a place of power and courage. You marvel to discover that this is you, a new you, a better you. Then they place him in your arms, that perfect little person and the world is changed forever, because you had the strength, and courage to live, to feel, and to hold nothing back.

That, my sisters is birth.

And there is nothing to fear. 

It's actually wonderfully fun.

Because no matter what-no matter your story, or whether it goes perfectly or not, you had complications or you didn't, you were exhausted, you chose another way, another way was chosen for you, it was what you hoped for it wasn't what you hoped for, you had a cesarean, you had a vaginal birth, an all natural birth, you just needed a little something to take the edge off, you were at home, you were in the water, you were at a hospital, you had an epidural, you didn't, you were on your back,  your side, all fours, you squatted, in the end it just doesn't matter, all that matters is that you did it. One way or another, 

you did it. 

And you see him for the first time, and it's all worth it.

He came at 6:26 that same evening. His life is a gift, His labor was a gift. To experience birth in such a peaceful, joyful, empowering way was so wonderful and so humbling. I wonder, what I could have done to deserve such a blessing. He is my fifth child. Only the second to hold in my arms, but the fifth I hold in my heart. After my first was born, I had three miscarriages before getting my little Teddy. Perhaps the pain of those losses filled me with gratitude for everything I was experiencing during the labor. I was truly grateful for every contraction, every transition from one phase into the next knowing it was bringing me ever closer to looking into this little angel baby's eyes. 

Whoever is lead to read this, I hope you will take heart. I hope you will have courage, and faith and most of all gratitude for the babes you've brought into this world, for the ones you are bringing now, for the ones you hope and pray to bring. Trust in God's power and the power He gives you as a woman to perform this miracle of miracles-the miracle of becoming a mother.

These magnificent photos were taken by EllCee Photography

How do you fly?

Tonight as I was tucking my four year old son into bed, we had a very sweet conversation.

"Mom, thank you for my superman costume, it makes me so happy."

"You're welcome, Scotty."

"Mom, I thought it would make me fly. But I can't fly. And I don't have any super powers."

"Oh, sweetie" I said, giving him a big hug, "Every super hero has very different super powers, you may not fly like superman, but you have a superpower of friendship and kindness, you make friends so easily! And you have a superpower of happiness, just by smiling and being you, you make others around you happy! And you have a superpower of brilliance, you are very smart and love to learn, that's what makes you Super Scott!"

"Mom, tell me a story about Super Scott."

So I told him a story about making a new friend with someone who was shy. This precious conversation touched me on so many levels, and really made me contemplate my own perspective in life. How innocently my son believed that putting on a costume would turn him into the hero he most admires, but he is already a hero in my eyes and in the eyes of everyone who loves him. As his mother, it is my heart's dearest hope, to be the mirror that can show him to see that greatness in himself.

What costumes am I wearing hoping they will give me super powers? That my house is always clean? That I know just what to do all the time? That I always have it together? That I am always a perfect, engaged mom teaching my 4 year old everything he needs to know to get into college? That my heart doesn't sometimes break? That everything is fine? That I don't need help? I am just as human as you, and in that fallible, imperfect, humanity there is my truest superpower-compassion, sympathy and love.

Because I know how it feels to wish I could fly into the sky of perfection, and then realize I can't fly. I don't have any superpowers...But I am me. I am alive. And I am walking through this life choosing to love, create, and build a family that with God's blessing, will go on and on for generations. That, is superpower enough for me.

Music and the Mind, Book Review

I just finished listening to one of my all time favorite books on tape (for probably the 50th time) "Music and the Mind" by Michael Ballam. I love this book, it inspires and reminds me of the invaluable importance of the arts. Ballam has incredible information and research compiled into this treasure of a book that will compel you to go out and buy your very own copy of Handel's Water Music! There are stories that truly testify of the power and influence of music, the accounts he shares will speak to your heart and remind you of this incredible tool we have to bless the lives of others, wake up the mind and uplift our souls through good music. 

My grandpa always told me that music has to have "the three m's" in order to pass the test of time, it has to have melody, it has to have a message, and it has to have majesty. Ballam's entire book has all three. It is written like a song, it is filled with music and it will change your life. Music is a divine language, a way to convey love in such a powerful and personal way, it is nothing short of magic.

Turn on some Mozart, Brahms or Handel today, sit down with your little one and paint, draw, dance, sing, wake up your mind, wake up your heart, wake up your creativity. All of the answers are there, waiting to be unlocked, music and art will set them free.

What do you do to unlock your creativity?

-DD

Letting go

Life is constantly coming and going. Autumn shows us this principle in a very vibrant and exciting way. All the leaves are changing and falling from the trees, preparing for winter. The long sleep before spring.

Imagine a tree that couldn't let go of it's leaves! Season after season fearfully clinging to every leaf it grew. "I might need this leaf later." It cries. "I just grew this leaf it's brand new!" "I wouldn't look as pretty as that ever green without my foliage!" "I'm just not a tree without all my leaves!" Eventually the tree would topple under it's own weight, and with no room for new growth the old would just sit there decaying. It would not be a pleasant sight. But the tree let's go, and never worries that new leaves won't come. 

With every breath you take in you instantly let go again. You release the old breath to allow in the new. Your body is in a constant rhythm of giving and taking, releasing and restoring. If it were not so, we wouldn't last long. The nature of living is to let things come as we need them and go as we don't. It's as if everything in this life is reminding us that our walk here is just a moment. We will come and we will go. And it is okay. Nothing in this world ceases to exist because it lets go, the letting go simply allows for the process to begin again anew.

Photo copyright Heidi Nickerson

When it's not REALLY yours, renting. Part 3 of 3

After a year of decorating with wild, passionate abandon, and a year of ultra conservative "I'm just going to have such a spotless house all the cockroaches will starve" home, I learned a few things.

Design is a process. Don't be afraid to start the process, just because you won't be in the same house five years from now. Chances are, even if you were in the same house your style, skill level, and resources would change so much in five years you'd have a "new" house anyway. Don't deprive yourself of joy today for fear of leaving tomorrow. If that joy is simply cutting out paper hearts and taping them to the door, so be it! But let yourself create!

Design has seasons. Sometimes it's time to design, and sometimes it's not. It's that simple. Money is short, or stress is high, it's just not time. Let that be okay. I do recommend always keeping things tidy and organized and maintaining your dream notebook.

True passion can not be stopped. Keep your dream alive, if you don't have money for a headboard find pictures of the headboard of your dreams and get a mason jar to fill with left over grocery money till you can buy it. If you don't have left over grocery money, paint a headboard on your wall, pin the picture of the headboard above your bed, start a dream notebook, don't let anything stop you. You can always create on some level, even if it's not the grand level of putting the actual room together, just yet.

If it's not yours, tend it, don't mend it. Everyone warned me not to put money into that condo we rented, but I couldn't hear them yet. That's life, sometimes we have to get burned to know the stove is hot. While I do think it is important to be an honest and respectful tenant of the landlord's property, it is ultimately their property and it is not your job to put any money into repairs or improvements unless you really want to. I recommend saving that money for your own house. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that now, but I probably wouldn't have listened. Oh well. Life goes on!

Create a vision and dream notebook. I have an entire blog entry about this here. Keep it updated, keep working on it, keep the dream alive. You will feel like you are moving forward even if you aren't making any physical changes to your space yet.

Plan to take it with you. Invest in things you can take with you. As you get clear in your dream notebook you will create a vision for your dream home, so when you make purchases you know you are moving in the right direction. My favorite investment in something I can take with me, is my beautiful headboard and custom bedding. My bed will never change where ever I live. Curtains and even furniture might depending on window sizes and house layouts. But knowing I have a beautiful bed to set up wherever we go is always a comfort to me.

I hope that my stories and insights are helpful to you as you find that balance as a tenant and home maker, while you rent. Just don't give up! That is my best counsel, don't get discouraged, even now you are building your dream home and as you create and hone your talents and vision you are preparing to make that home into something truly wonderful for you and your family.

When it's not REALLY yours, renting. Part 2 of 3

Not only am I a renter, I am a Navy wife. So we move. A lot. A year after I poured my heart, soul, time, energy and money into that beautiful little Monterey Condo, we left. We handed our keys over to a VERY happy landlord and we said goodbye forever. That was heart breaking.

When we got to Goose Creek, South Carolina things were different then our honeymoon year in Monterey. Again we were renting, an old, stinky, oddly designed, cold, military house on base. I had a brand new baby. And Josh was going to Nuclear Power School. You should feel happy to know that the United States military has the most difficult Nuclear power program to get through, in the WORLD. To say my husband was stressed this year is kind of an understatement, but he got through it. I think some of that stress translated into my design work though....

This was our master bedroom.

It looked like that the entire year we lived there. I didn't even buy a bedspread. This was the quilt from my bedroom while I lived at home before I got married. I kept the house very clean, and I did my best to make it pretty. Okay, not my BEST. Sometimes I just settled for "functional". These were the only curtains we had in the house.

This too, was in the master bedroom. Here's me being real, sometimes the best you can muster are towels to block the light in your bedroom because your husband has to sleep all day so he can work all night. Sometimes, it is simply enough to keep your house clean and functional. To make dinner every night and be there with open arms when your husband is going through something tough. We quickly realized that unless we wanted to acquire some serious debt, we needed to stop the frivolous budget free ways of spending we lived in Monterey. So we really hunkered down this year and saved. I didn't spend any money on decorating. I bought a few things we needed, used, and my amazing mother in law bought us a king sized bed, but other than that this was a simple year for us. And it was okay that way. I did things like, cover our bedroom door with paper flowers and hung scrapbook pages on the wall to brighten my craft room!

If you really want to create, nothing can stop you but yourself. This is where I came up with the Dream Design Notebook idea and started working on it! Ultimately, I learned a few things from these wonderful homes and life experiences. 

Which you can read about in part three of this series tomorrow!

When it's not REALLY yours, renting. Part 1 of 3

When I got married, I was over the moon ecstatic! Anyone who knew me could tell you I lived on cloud 9, Heck, I OWNED cloud 9! I was marrying my best friend and love of my life. He was everything and more than I'd ever dreamed of in a man. We were moving to not only, sunny California, but Monterey California,  the most wonderful place to live in the world. My life was a fairy tale come true in every way. We rented a ridiculously overpriced condo, that needed some work, and I got right to it. To me, improving the space even though it wasn't mine made complete sense in my newly married brain filled with cloud nine cotton candy goodness. Every person that came to visit our one bedroom 1960's love nest, said the same thing, "Wow! This does NOT look like a newly wed apartment! This is gorgeous!"

That's right I thought. That's just how I roll.

I repainted....The walls. The ceiling. The doors. The trim. I replaced all the hardware on the doors and lighting. We even helped pay to have the kitchen redone because I couldn't stand not having any drawers that opened. I bought furniture and bedding and curtains....and the rather impressive nest egg my husband brought into our marriage got fried up and served for dinner at our new kitchen table. We inhaled that delicious little egg.

Oh, but look how blissful I am! Painting my landlord's door...(To add to the absolute bliss I got pregnant a month after we got married so now we can throw some oxytocin into the mix along with sleeping every night with prince charming, so who WOULD'T smile because they were painting. (With non-voc paint of course. We can't blame fumes on anything here!)

The reason I am sharing this is that a lot of time, when people rent they feel restrained. The property is not theirs and so they hold back, thinking making improvements is not going to help their pocket book and they have to leave anyway, so what's the point?

The point is, you have to live there. I'm a firm believer in creating a beautiful home wherever you are, whoever owns the home. The immediate blessing is the joy of creating and nurturing your creativity. You will also gain important skills and experience that will be a benefit to you when you DO have a home of your own. It will also help you form very solid ideas of what you like. Life really is too short to deprive yourself of beautiful surroundings just because someone else owns it, and remember you are the steward. Just as God put us on this earth and made us the stewards of it, we are also stewards of the dwellings we inhabit. While I  believe and strive to live this, I think there is a balance. 

There is a part two, to my high in the sky eating love pie story, and it is well worth the read in our quest to understand where we stand as renters. See you tomorrow!

Who are you robbing?

Recently I purged my scrapbooking and art supplies. Truthfully, I use about 5 of my tools 80 percent of the time, I love to water color paint so that is a project I constantly have out on the table. And I love to scrapbook but I tend to do this less of the time. While my water color habits are confined to two favorite brushes, a bag of paints my pallet and block of paper, a very manageable amount of tools, my scrapbooking supply is massive.

The industry is always designing new and fabulous trendy papers and embellishments to inspire even the most left brained of us all. It's a beautiful industry. Sadly, I don't have the room I need to accommodate all that I'd collected, and despite my best intentions when I feel inspired to do a new project I usually find myself at the store buying the latest and greatest papers instead of using something from my stash, my stash was enormous. Many of my supplies had been sitting in boxes for upwards of three years.

Then, one day a good friend of mine got on facebook and asked if anyone had any extra scrapbooking materials they were willing to part with. She had lots of projects to do but not a stock pile of supplies to support her creative endeavors. I looked over at my papers and embellishments almost crying for a chance to be used and I realized that by holding onto these things, I would likely never use, while someone else needed them was robbing that person.

I know it seems  a little extreme, but think about it, you have something you really don't need, and someone else does need it, to hold on to it is selfish, don't you think? Even if you are not as lucky as me and a friend doesn't come knocking at your door asking to give a new life to your dead, hoarded, thing a ma-bob, just donating it to a charity or Goodwill gives it the chance to find that new lease on usefulness.

So, the next time you are debating whether or not to get rid of that thing that has plenty of good use left in it, but is of little use to you remember that by hiding it away in your closet you are denying someone else the joy they would get from using it.

Now it's easy to let it go, isn't it ;)

Create A Dream Design Notebook

Design is a process and requires clear vision. We are bombarded with options and styles, this is both wonderful and overwhelming. If you don't have a clear vision of what you want you will not be happy with your efforts. I suggest beginning your journey with a dream design notebook, to hold all of your inspiration.

I use a beautiful 12X12 scrapbook. The pages are bigger and give me more room to spread out. My book started with a journal entry that simply talked about how my dream house felt. I didn't even mention color, fabric or style. I wanted to understand the mood. I thought I would start with an entire dream house but this quickly became too big and overwhelming. As I worked the book naturally narrowed down to my dream master bedroom. This allowed me to really focus. Consider these elements when assembling your own book.

• Start with a single room you are passionate about, master bedroom and bath, or a kitchen or family room. You will be able to fill a book dreaming up one room.

• Find a fabric you love and work within the colors of that material, if you struggle to find a fabric you start gathering samples of fabrics you like. As you gather many of these one may soon stand out as a very favorite.

• Journal out the mood you are trying to create, consider the activities that will take place in that room. Mood and Function are always the first things to determine when creating a space.

• Be sure and include poetry or lines from your favorite song, scriptures or favorite quotes, anything that reflects the mood you are seeking to create. 

• Gather tangible pictures you can cut and paste into your book. Pintrest is lovely, but there is nothing like scouring through magazines and cutting out pictures then pasting them into a book you can hold in your hands as you sit on your couch and turn each lovingly made page. It's also fun to share with good friends.

• Include descriptions and pictures of as many aspects of the room as possible, including accessories and even the type of music you would play or scents wafting through the air. 

• Be ready for your ideas to change, the beauty of this notebook is that your ideas will evolve, and you get to make mistakes and find out what works on paper first, without busting the bank!

Have fun and take your time, this is a project to enjoy! My dream master bedroom notebook has expanded into two books and I've been working on them for the last four years! It has been a delight for me to create these books and has helped me develop my style immensely. I hope your book will give the same to you!

The BEST!

I painted this! And it is the BEST!

I spent hours joyfully painting. Happy to have the time to paint and to think, while my husband took our four year old to the park. I love the memories it evokes of Long Beach, and watching Scotty on his first carousel ride with his Gommy, she smiled and waved right beside him as he bobbed up and down on the magical ride.

What if I compared my beautiful painting with a carousel horse created by a master water color artist. She's spent a lifetime studying and practicing the art. Her ability to work the paints with such oneness result in a masterpiece appearing more like a window glimpsing onto a real carousel ride than a painting. 

Is my painting still the best?

Place my painting next to a rendition by a six year old. Her excited fingers clutch the crayons. She gleefully alternates between bright pink and purple. "Here are the ears!" She proudly explains to her mother "And the nose and the eyes, and here's me, I'm waving to you!" The picture is hung prominently on the center of the refrigerator.

Is my painting still the best?

Yes, my painting is still the best. "The" best, is my best. Each is the best work of the artist. Comparing them makes no sense, they are all a unique effort, and they are all the same effort. Each putting forth all the skill they have. 

Just as the master's work can not take away from the child's talent, or the child's work enhance the talent of the novice, nothing can take away or add too, the beauty of your your home. What you create contains all the beauty of your best work. Tell me, what could possibly detract from that? Pintrest, a magazine, how about HGTV?  What about this very blog?

None of it can take away that beauty or the joy you receive from creating, except you.

Why do we create? Why do we paint, and sew curtains, and organize a drawer? We do it all for joy! But you are robbed of that joy when you compare your ability to others. So create! Seek out inspiration! Be bold, be joyful, and love your best completely.

Domestic Diva

When I was newly married I was given an apron with the title "Domestic Diva" embroidered on the front. I spent most of my young life singing in recitals, church, school choirs and competitions. The giver of this special apron, was one of my beloved music teachers. As you can imagine, I hold a special affinity toward this apron and the title it bears.

There is music in everything. I am always singing, my four year old sings Brahm's lullaby in German with me, but I sing in more ways than just my voice. When a beautiful meal is laid out for dinner, it's music, when a home is organized and running well it's music, when I’m painting a wall, it’s music when I'm holding a baby, it's music, when I'm kissing my husband, ahh...music. All of life is a song, and when there is harmony in the things we do, everything feels right. It's like our soul is singing for joy!

Just like all other beautiful music, when it is shared it inspires and uplifts the hearts of many. I have been inspired by so many passionate people in my life singing their songs with full gusto! I want to sing like that for you! I want to inspire you to create harmony and music in your own home. Create, organize, decorate, clean! And find joy in the beauty of the process. I want to help you create a home that uplifts you, inspires you and comforts you.  You can create a home that reflects the melody in your heart so when others walk through your front door they are inspired by your song.

I hope this blog helps you find that song, and gives you the inspiration you need to sing it.